Valentines Day this year has come late on the 29th of February.

Christmas, which also seems to have happened to me this week, has come even later.

I was going to write a post a couple of weeks back, when everyone in the world was going all soppy for Valentines, (my married housemates certainly were, I battened down the hatches in my room and had an early night). A post about love, and how everyone is looking for it.

Everyone is looking for love. Anyone who says they're not is either lying, or have already found it. Granted, some of us are looking harder than others. Many young professionals in my world now are clearly not that bothered, the age of marriage being a necessity and a social mandate, are to us well and truly over. We do have that slightly niggly feeling sometimes and worry that we are, well you know, going to die alone and be eaten by cats, but there are quite a lot of us out there.

Love should be, and at it's best is a very simple thing. However it can be tricky to find the right balance.

Generally it takes two people, who actually like each other the same amount. They also have to want to shag each other. That being not that complex in principal, its a shame we don't manage it more often.

It's the liking people the same amount which is the most difficult bit. Some of us tend to yearn after people sometimes, who don't like us, or treat us badly, while beating ourselves up because nobody falls in love with us.

This is all summed up by the modern phrase "they're just not that into you". When we are just not that into someone, it's not going to work. We brush them off, sometimes with little consideration to their feelings, and rather than taking their affection as a compliment, it "doesn't count" as, sometimes unbeknown to them, we never liked them anyway.

In these cases I highly recommend you firstly, let the person know in as nice a way as possible that you are "not that into them", and secondly treat them with respect. You never know, next time the boot might be on the other foot.

Case in point, the other time of the year people go all soppy and start wondering about the cat eating scenario is Christmas.

I had two guys contact me around Christmas, one was K, who I met in a bar when I came back from traveling and was talking to everyone in the super friendly way that I still do. The other guy illustrating perfectly my "unbnownst to them point" was the guy I now refer to as my "singular worst date ever"............ "climb out the bathroom window bad" to give you some idea how interested I was, I can't quite remember, oh that's it, I remember his name now, and it started with, no I'll have to change it, lets call him N.

(For no no no, not ever in a million years?!)

Meow.

I digress. Shame on me, I picked this one up while I was jogging and he was stuck in slow moving traffic. Lets just say he looked better in his car.

The thing is with these guys that because I was not, (even ever remotely), that into them, they didn't count, and were dispensed with, in one case in a slightly merciless manner. Nothing too bad, but the inability of some men to take NO for an answer does occasionally bring out the machine gun toting feminist in me.

To me they were just tiny distractions buzzing around to be batted away without much thought. To them I suspect getting in touch with someone they liked was a slightly bigger deal. Sad isn't it. In our collective humanity we have trouble getting it right.


Last night I thought I was going to a birthday party. When I arrived in the pub in Notting Hill Gate, one of my best friends is standing there in a floor length white dress.

That's a bit formal for a West London bar, I thought - telling her she looked lovely, which she did.

She looked at me for a couple of seconds in this, "can't you work it out?" kind of way. The cogs in my brain had just started moving when she smiles and says, "I got married today Cathy".

This caused me to burst into tears and sob hysterically, which may not have been the exact reaction she was hoping for, but certainly it was a genuine one. I was tired, and it was kind of like a blow to the solar plexus.

For sensible and personal reasons my friend hid it from everyone except the witnesses. I managed to persuade the photographer to show me the unedited wedding pictures on the camera, and it looked beautiful. Fairy tale white dresses, happy bride and grooms, beautiful children, perfect locations. Chauffeur driven, (by the witness!) in a 1969 VW Camper Van, which they are now going to take their honeymoon in. How cool is that?!

I am a bit of a sceptic when it comes to marriage and not very good at gushing statements on it, what I said was "I'm sure it'll be cool, and that's more than most people get out of me", which it is.


As for me and Christmas, I wandered into my latest assignment this week, and I am now at least at the moment working in the kind of place, team and job, that I have been wanting to for a long time. I have also been wondering aside from work about how nice it would be to have a lap top and thus, I am sure, be able to write more. However there is no way I can afford any lap top that is worth buying.

About four hours after walking in on a temporary contract, after they showed me the company Gym complete with free aerobics classes, they tell me, "so you'll be taking my old mobile, and this one will be your lap top".


Thank you Santa.



So there that's my belated Valentines post, all about love, and the reason why for me it is also Christmas.

The month of February had an extra day in it this year, due to the leap year, and the last and 29th day of that month was yesterday. So I guess that also makes Corina and Ash's Day even more special.


I do enjoy seeing true love. It's not dead in the world. In fact, it's alive and well, and living in London.